Coping With A Chemical Pregnancy

When I saw the faint line on the pregnancy test, I could hardly contain my excitement. I immediately sent a picture to my husband. "Do you see it, too?"
Over the next few days, the line grew darker with each test I took.

And then, all of a sudden, I started bleeding.

My husband tried to calm me down. He rubbed my back, he gave me Tylenol for the pain, he let me cry on his shoulder.. I knew there was no reason I should be bleeding so heavily, unless something was wrong.

The next morning, I visited our local walk-in clinic. They broke the news.

  

"CHEMICAL PREGNANCY"

I had no idea what it meant, but that it hurt. Not only physically, but emotionally. The flood gates opened and I cried like I have never cried before. WHY ME?

1. It is not your fault.You did not cause this. There is nothing you could have done to prevent it. Chemical pregnancies are only so common today because of the convenience of at-home pregnancy tests. If we had not been trying for a baby, I would not have taken an early test, I wouldn't have gotten an early positive, and I would have simply thought it was time for aunt flow.
2. It does not mean you are unsuccessful.If anything, a chemical pregnancy should reassure you, instead of tearing you down. No, the fertilized egg did not attach. However, the egg was successfully fertilized. Your eggs are still doing their job and so is your husband's sperm.
3. It still hurts.In medical terms, it is not "technically" a miscarriage. But if you have a confirmed chemical pregnancy, you know the heartbreak. For a few days, there was a fertilized egg in your body and that fertilized egg was your baby.

So, when does it get better? With time, all wounds heal. It is best to find a way to help cope with your chemical pregnancy.

1. Pick out a name.
   To some people I've talked to, this seems to be very hard to do. However, picking out a name for your lost child during your chemical pregnancy can help relieve the pain. It helps put a name to the bond you had for just a short time.
2. Buy an angel.
   This seems to be the most common coping choice. You simply buy an angel to sit on your dresser or somewhere in your home. You can find one of my favorites here. It includes a precious poem on the bottom of the figurine.
3. Plant a rosebush.
   Sometimes giving something else life and nurturing another living thing can help ease the sorrow of your loss. Planting a rosebush seems to be the most fitting comparison: it's delicate and it is beautiful, just as the child you lost.

Everyone has their own way of dealing with these events. If you have any suggestions of things that may help a couple in sorrow, or if you have used any methods to cope with the loss of a child, please feel free to leave a comment.